In order to avoid acting out of anger toward your children, you need to have a very firm understanding of yourself, being able to discern when you are calm and when you are angry, as you will be unable to consistently parent your children properly if you are unable to consistently make this distinction!
The first thing you need to do when your child has done something wrong is examine yourself; if you are upset with the choice your child made (but not with your child), it will be okay to sit them down and talk to them about their decision, and then to prescribe their punishment. If you recognize that you are actually upset with your child instead of being upset with the choice they made, you need to explain this to your child (saying something like, "Daddy/Mommy needs a moment to cool off" will suffice), and then you can ask them to wait in their room (or in your room) until you are ready to talk to them.
Make sure you cool down completely before you do talk to your children, as this will be a big part of raising children who grow into well-adjusted adults. Once you start paying attention to this aspect of parenting - making sure you are punishing the "action" rather than the "child," and parenting out of love rather than out of anger - you will be on your way to raising children who grow to become adults you can be proud of.
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